Some of the jokes and pictures
I've sent to the Steve-o

Leno

  • Well, it looks like the war is just about over, our troops are coming home, which is great news for me because now we can make fun of Bush again
  • Boy, it’s been cold the last couple of nights in L.A. Last night I went to the big Earth Day rally – it was so cold I had to sit in my Humvee with the engine running just to keep warm!
  • I think I overdid it this week with the exercise. In one week, Sunday I did the Boston Marathon and then yesterday I did that pilgrimage to Karbala.
  • Did you see those Iraqis making the pilgrimage slashing their foreheads open with knives and whipping their backs with huge chains? See, when Saddam Hussein was around they weren’t allowed to make the pilgrimage. If they tried, Saddam Hussein would cut their foreheads with knives and whip them with chains.

 

10 newest cities in Iraq

  1. Wherz-Myroof
  2. Mykamel-Izded
  3. Oshit-Disisabad
  4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon
  5. Pleez-Ztopdishit
  6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi
  7. Ikantstan-Disnomore
  8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin
  9. Myturbin-Izburnin
  10. Imma-Dedduck

 

Kilborn

  • The big story is that there’s no electricity in Baghdad. The citizens there are angry – and you would be too if you couldn’t watch your brand new stolen TV!

 

 More Leno
  • More looting in Iraq today and that’s just by Fox News.
  • A TV engineer for the Fox News Channel has been charged with trying to smuggle stolen Iraqi paintings into the U.S. No wonder they got so much good video of all those people looting – they were right there with them!
  • Well, let’s just hope his jury is as "fair and balanced" as Fox News.
  • At an airport back east, the FBI spotted ancient artifacts they thought were from that museum in Baghdad. Turns out it was just Dan Rather and Ted Koppel coming home.
  • Gay rights groups are calling for [Rick] Santorum’s resignation because he compared homosexuality to bigamy, polygamy, adultery and incest. It’s not just gay groups that are insulted. Mormons were insulted for including polygamy, Congress was insulted for including adultery, and Arkansas was insulted for including incest.
  • I was on the Clairol Web page and they have a new quiz called "what Does Hair Color Say About You?" In Scott Peterson’s case, I believe it says "guilty."
  • I guess you know this creepy Scott Peterson guy dyed his hair blond to escape arrest. Now he’s claiming he didn’t dye his hair, it changed color after he went swimming in a pool. Well, folks, it’s now official. Gary Condit is only Modesto’s second-biggest liar.
  • How many watched Monica Lewinsky on "Mr. Personality"? Did you see her? If you watched her, it proves the old show business adage that the camera does add 110 pounds.
  • According to the tabloids, former president Bill Clinton is going deaf. Did you see all the women he dated? I thought he was going blind.
  • According to the tabloids, they say Clinton is wearing hearing aids in both ears. Clinton going deaf. Do you know what he missed hearing the most? Hillary coming up the stairs.
  • The NFL draft is coming up this weekend. The Cincinnati Bengals have the first pick again. And if you watched them play last year, you know they earned it.
  • Mike Tyson has been granted a license to fight here in California. Are you upset about him fighting here? Let’s be fair, if we can give Nick Nolte and Rodney King a license to drive, we can give Tyson a license to fight.
  • Albino activists are now protesting what they say is prejudice in Hollywood. They claim that movies often portray albinos negatively and as villains. When is the establishment going to give the really white man a break?
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