1. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

2. Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

3. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

4. Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

5. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

6. If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

8. Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

10. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will come in and clean them?

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

12. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

· Winona Ryder was sentenced to 500 hours of community service for shoplifting. Last week she completed her sentence, completed all 500 hours. The weird thing - the community is now missing.

· There is now a Burger King in Baghdad. The prostitutes are now back in the streets of Baghdad after 25 years. Fast food and hookers...they are living the American dream.

· Did you see President Bush land on the aircraft carrier yesterday? President Bush told reporters on the carrier after he landed that the pilot actually let him fly the plane for a little bit. In a related story Dick Cheney said that he once let President Bush run the country for a few minutes.

· President Bush also had dinner with 150 sailors - because he wanted to know what it's like to be like Christina Aguilera.